The 100th Monkey Effect

did-you-kno:

The last witness of Abraham Lincoln’s assassination lived long enough to be interviewed on TV. Source

did-you-kno:

The last witness of Abraham Lincoln’s assassination lived long enough to be interviewed on TV. Source

zeldaisawesomeness:

REAL TALK HERE:

ALL MARCHING BAND KIDS ARE THE SAME, AND ARE THE GREATEST PEOPLE ON EARTH

IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND IN MARCHING BAND, THEY’RE PROBABLY A REALLY COOL PERSON

allycupcake
rlyhigh:

saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing

rlyhigh:

saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing

(Source: abadeerzs, via waitingwanderlust)

thelyssymarie:

you all act like al is a perfect angel but remember that time he wanted to feed roy to gluttony

thelyssymarie:

you all act like al is a perfect angel but remember that time he wanted to feed roy to gluttony

(via kimboshrimp)

cakeandrevolution:

I want to see a reality tv show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages they send to women to their mothers.

(via spiritoftruthandlies)

waitingwanderlust:

ninceey:

listen to people when they are mad, it’s the only time you will hear the truth

Or drunk tbh

mostly just drunk

sinnersleadtheway:

Right now, I wish I had a girl in my bed, laying on my chest, kissing me while watching a movie.

(via ihearthawthorneheights)

swoobats:

alphabet soup more like times new ramen am i right

(via asvprock)

tranzient:

FRANK
FRANK, MAN, YOU’RE ALIVE
I JUST…
I SAW THIS HANDBAG MAN
IT LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU.
OH FRANK I’M SO RELIEVED.

tranzient:

FRANK

FRANK, MAN, YOU’RE ALIVE

I JUST…

I SAW THIS HANDBAG MAN

IT LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU.

OH FRANK I’M SO RELIEVED.

(Source: scrotumcoat, via lemon-legend)